Saturday, May 22, 2010

Who is in Charge?

After a long absence (I'm pregnant and the first trimester is over giving me a bit more energy and no morning sickness!) I'm jumping back in to some of my favorite blogging connections. So hello Company Girls!

Friday was one of those days when I thought "Who is in charge around here?" Without realizing it, I let my kids run the show for most of the day. It wasn't the blatant attitude "I don't care what you do" but rather "Sure we can do this instead" rather than facing their reaction if I said "No".

Scene 1 The Grocery Store
I had a few things to pick up and took my two younger children in the morning to the store. My 4 yr old spies the cute green little cart "Child in Training" and wants to push it around. I agree but didn't anticipate my 2 yr old's insistence on wanting to push it too and immediately I have two major tantrums over who can push. We decide to share the pushing and I was glad to hear my youngest saying "Your turn". I thought "Great! This will be a good sharing opportunity" But in the midst of focusing on how far each can push and making sure they don't run into people I forgot sandwich bags and tissues AGAIN! So I will have to make another trip because NO WAY am I folding things in saran wrap and using toilet paper for another whole week!

Lesson learned: I should have determined what mode of "transportation" we were using inside the store before going in and set down the guidelines with the kids before getting out of the van.

Scene 2 The Library
We had to return DVDs to the library before it closed in 1/2 hr. I had all 3 kiddos and explained our game plan before we left. Of course I forgot to tell them no walking on the 3 ft high brick wall near the entrance ramp which is what they want to do first thing. I get them off and try to corral them aside when my 4 yr old runs in ahead. So off to the bathroom we go for more instruction and setting down the first consequence. All is good and we head to the return section. My oldest is doing a great job of putting the books and videos in the right slot when my 2 yr old spots her book she wants to put it in after it's already gone. She screams at the top of her lungs, tries to bite my shoulder, spits and is downright out of control. Every eye is on ME! I apologize and couldn't find the exit fast enough. I'm trying to control Little Missy, when you guessed it, my boys climb up that 3 ft wall and want to walk AGAIN! I get my 4 yr old down who has a total melt down because he wanted to JUMP down and while tending to him my 2 yr old runs down the ramp right toward the parking lot. AGHH! I couldn't get them into the van fast enough. Could things be any more out of control? Since we still had to pick up my husband from work I informed them of their consequences that they would have when they got home.

Lesson Learned: Although I did have a game plan ahead of time I can see a lack of consistent obedience especially with the boys when told to stop. They push the envelope and I need to be better at addressing that when they are home and are not in the midst of the "battle". My little girl obviously gets her way far more regularly than I realized. I think I'll need to establish firmer boundaries at home and help her deal with "no" in a more controlled way.

A glimmer of hope: After returning home with my husband right at dinner time, I forgot to address my little girl's outburst. (The other area I need to be more consistent in!) She comes into the kitchen and motions for me to discipline her! When I went through our little routine she says "Thanks Mommy!" and runs along as happy as can be!

I'm still digesting everything from the course of the day and am sure there will be other things I'll realize need improvement. But the biggies: having a plan, being clear with the boundaries, not being afraid to say "no" and following through, give me enough to work on right now.

I'd love to hear any lessons you've learned this week!

If you would like to catch up on what other gals did this week head over to Company Girl Coffee.


  1. oh my gosh.. I can't believe she asked to be disciplined! Such stressful situations though. Glad you can learn through them!

  2. Oh, WOW, brought back such memories of my child rearing years. Sounds like you are a very good Mother that certainly is doing her best. What fortunate children to have such a Mom. Blessings to you as you continue on!

  3. they do like to give us a challenge huh?

    for the lakeshore learning stores, i think there are only 2 outlets/warehouses, and we're lucky to have one closeby. i think some of the other stores may have the free crafts too. we missed the special music day craft today though.

    and congrats on your pregnancy!! happy 2nd trimester too! i had morning sickness up the wahooz with both girls. not fun at all. take care of yourself.